2023-04-24 - 8:41 p.m.
Where do I even start? Man life is really kicking me lately but I'll focus on my love life or lack thereof.
A lot has happened in the last few months. Cliff notes version, Darren and I officially ended right after Thanksgiving. I do not think I have the emotional capacity to rehash all that but it was messy and hurt. I still miss him quite a bit especially when I'm sad which has been all the time lately.
David...David and I tried to date for a brief month in December. And as always it ended in flames. Surprised? No not really. Sad, yes. I don't even know what happened tbh, it doesn't even matter now. But I feel like it was left so up in the air, it hurts.
The problem is feel now is I'm just like obsessed with him, I can not no matter what I do stop thinking about him. I feel insane, totally insane. He is on my mind all day. I stalk his profile on Feabie. I mean that has no helped because I have access to him on there, I will look at my online feed all day to see if hes on, where he is. Check his location. I feel insane for real for real. I have debated about deleting the app but then that makes me anxious. And the girl I suspected he was seeing on there- still don't know if its true- but i've become obsessed with her and stalking her profile, I feel totally fucking nuts dude and I hate it.
I have almost texted him a few times, I want to so fucking bad but I am so afraid of rejection. I don't think I can take that, but I think I will get to a point where I don't care tbh. I am just so fucking unhinged RN its not even funny.
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